Sunday, June 1, 2008

Who am i?

Who am i to say anything at all? Who am i to have sight and an awareness at all? Who am i to say this is necessary and that is not? i don't know. i really don't know. i am just Julia. i am just a girl who wakes up in the morning, checks the time and descends out of bed. My feet ache. My head feels heavy. i drink coffee. i take my time getting ready. i pause...and pause and just think about stuff as i am reminded or provoked. i eventually make it outside. i get in my new, but dusty car and head out. i turn on talk radio and listen to the opinions of the natives. i don't get bothered by traffic unless i am late and possibly disappointing someone. i pick up my nanny kids and give them the attention they need. i straighten up their house so they can experiecnce some order and so can i. i read a bit. i stare a bit. i watch Ellen. i make dinner. i fold the laundry. i check on the homework. i exit as their dad arrives. i drive home or to small group or to church or to praise team practice or to choir practice or to somebody's birthday celebration...Who am i to think i know anything at all? i don't know.

Who am i to say He needs me? Who am i to say He loves me? Who am i to say He is here with me? i don't know.
He said it...not me. He revealed it...not me. He allowed it...not me. I stood by and watched Him unfold. This I know...I know it very well.

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