Saturday, April 24, 2010

I've MOVED!!!

Hey Friends, I've MOVED! my new blog address is
It's a consolidated blog consisting of all 3 of my blogging locales.
I hope you visit soon;)
Julia Kate

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Church Rehab with Dr. Drew

i've been lazy about the church hunt as of late, but i've had anxiety and have needed to process some deeper issues before i reconnect. enter Dr. Drew, my favourite rehab specialist. imagine if there were a VH-1 Church Rehab. imagine if there were a shepherding type of counselor, like Drew, that helped you process the strings, the ties, the motives, the abuse, the anger, the hurt, the frustration, the isolation, the pressure to perform, the insecurity, the loneliness, the double-talk, the lies, the disappointments, the goofy doctrine, the beatings, the bruises, the deep need within, the effects of being in the system for 30+ years... imagine.

have you watched the rehab shows with Dr. Drew? i love how he makes his little pout when the patients tell their stories. it's like he sees the little child, neglected and misused, and is able to clump all the "violations" into one big sum of stuff that is the past... the valid horrific past, but the past. he gets them to focus on getting healthy so that they can live a normal life.

last sunday my family went out to breakfast, the farmer's market, and even the dog park. as we were leaving the dog park, my mom turned to me and said "i loved today. i love doing normal stuff. we missed out on a lot, you know. i had an alcoholic father and you had church-aholic parents." wow.

the church may be a very different dynamic to me than it is to you. to me, it is the source of much pain, frustration, and conflict. the church is "work". to you, it may be a haven, a place of hope, a glimpse of family. my story is not entirely unique. many people have a very similar view of church. but here's the deal... i refuse to give up on the church. we, as a family, have refused to give up on the church.

but i need a pep talk. i need a pout and hug from Dr. Drew from time to time. i need a shepherd to use his rod to protect me. i need a shepherd to love me whether or not i am serving him and his vision. heck, i'll be frank, i just need a shepherd. not a teacher, not an evangelist, not an anointed CEO, not a vision caster, not a perfect person, just a good old fashioned, kind, tender, and compassionate shepherd.
you know, someone like Dr. Drew;)
"I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd puts the sheep before himself, sacrifices himself if necessary."
John 10:11

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Losing Your Religion

christianity is a religion.
christianity is a religion that offers the common man relationship with the divine.
christianity is not a relationship without a form of religion.

religion is this:
the practice of religious beliefs; ritual observance of faith.
and this:
something one believes in and follows devotedly; a point or matter of ethics or conscience
it is also this:
a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe... usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
the bible says that bad religion is this:
"They'll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they're animals. Stay clear of these people."
2 Timothy 3:5 MSG
the bible says that good religion is this:
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
James 1:27 NIV

so why do we christians deny our religion? why are afraid of being associated with this term?

perhaps it's time to reclaim our religion and practice it righteously.

Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.
I Timothy 4:16

Monday, April 5, 2010

the character of your God

just curious...

does the God you serve send earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunami's, fires, etc. as a sign?
does the God you serve take your loved ones by car accidents, gang fights, cancer?
does the God you serve spare one and allow the complete destruction of the other?
does the God you serve require what you have endeavored to prepare for sacrifice?
does the God you serve limit His grace according to your obedience/behavior?
does the God you serve favor you over the others or bless you because of your service?
does the God you serve wait until you repent before He can forgive you of your sins?
does the God you serve, mysterious & awesome, love you unconditionally?

just curious.

how you view the character of your God will directly reflect how you live your life.

The LORD looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.
Psalm 14:2

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful

my heart was bruised by disappointment, but my heart has healed.
my heart was torn by what i desired deeply, but i conceded and now it is being made whole.
my hopes were placed in foreign ideas and unfit destinations.
my mind was set on what seemed good enough, and my passion pushing for what seemed right.
but when i settled down, wiped away the tears, caught my breath, and could see beyond the clouded contacts, i saw something beautiful.
i saw me.
i saw me apart from the additives that i was busy compiling to increase my worth.
i saw me, just me.
and in that moment i had hope of something more resilient, something intentional, something purposed, something beautiful.
now seeing what is beautiful, i see His beauty all around me.
i see it in the flowers in front of my picture window.
i see it in the mountains covered in a gray haze.
i see it in a garden blossoming tomatoes and lilies.
i see it in YOU.
i see His hand in it.
i see that He has made it beautiful.

"All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him."

2 Corinthians 3:18 Msg

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

To the Secretary of Christ...

I don't feel rebellious. I don't feel uneasy about the course I am on. I just don't agree with who we've become.

I don't believe that 10% is what He meant. I think we hang on to it out of our need for checks and balances.

I don't believe in loyalty to the institution. I think we require it out of insecurity.

I don't believe in the priority of the 'Service' itself. I think we push it because of our need to control.

I don't believe in competing with the world. I think we do it because we lack identity.

I don't believe in the necessity of being 'cutting edge' or modernizing. I think the truth never needs adaptation, just clarification.

I don't believe in puffed up salaries that are funded by people's sacrifice. I think we are taking advantage.

i am bothered by our show when there is no sign of righteous living.

i am bothered when our song leaders are passed off as worship leaders.

i am bothered by sermons that are doctrinally incorrect and double minded.

i am bothered by the fact that many hearers wouldn't even know what is correct and what isn't.

i am bothered by the needs that go unmet because they aren't a part of our institution's focus.

i am bothered by the fact that ambition goes unrecognized and is often misrepresented as passion.

i have hope that we can do better.

i have hope that we will discover who we are in this world and to our God.

i have hope that we will grow in utilization of all we have been given.

i have hope that we will speak truth and walk out justice.

i have hope that we will one day give up our ideas
and our control of the institution
and allow ourselves to become
the Church,
a Bride,
and no longer a Secretary.
i have hope.

Isaiah 1:12-27

Friday, March 26, 2010


Can't take my eyes off of you. no distractions, no one even knows i'm here.

Hide me. fit me in. wrap me up in your meaning and wanting.

Relish me. let me rest here. no resistance, no fight or opposition in sight.

I am but yours and yours alone. uphold me as you so desire.

Show me how i may please you. show me the road and i will journey.

Take me with you. when its all over, i just want to be with you.