Tuesday, March 23, 2010

the brighter side of meaninglessness

sometimes i wonder if i'd be a millionaire by now, if only i had tithed for the last 7 years. imagine all the closer parking spots i've missed out on, or the bargains at the grocery store & the mall. maybe i'd be married by now and have 9 kids (i'd birth 10 but tithe one of them)... oh tithing, you're always holding me back.

i didn't get the flu this year. i got the shot.
i didn't get the H1N1 either. i didn't get the shot.
i've kissed a few guys in my time and i never got mono.
i danced at a wedding and i didn't get pregnant.
i was texting while i was driving and didn't have an accident.
i had a piece of cheesecake and didn't have an explosion.
i yelled at the crazy driver downtown and didn't get killed.

i returned a kind answer to a bully and he told me to shut the hell up.
i kept my cool and didn't lose my head and she still got angry.
i played by the rules and gave all the right answers and still didn't get chosen.
i opened my wallet, my home, my heart and i haven't heard from them in months.
i submitted, i served, i respected, i loved, and i wasn't what he wanted.
"i let go, i let God", and i let opportunity pass right by.
i took time for a sabbath and i got a parking ticket.

so what's the point? where is my punishment? where is my reward? where is my consequence? 3 words: mercy, grace, & misunderstanding. as humans we crave punishment & reward. we need consequence or we feel that our actions are meaningless. i am one of the crazies within the church that thinks solomon wasn't off of his rocker when he wrote ecclesiastes. he was the wisest man and perhaps he has been misunderstood. for me, it isn't cynical or depressing to realize that "everything is meaningless", it is actually quite freeing. he concluded his teaching with this: "fear God & do what He tells you." that's it folks. paul spoke of the one reward promised, that your race will end. you will arrive at the end and that is your greatest reward. because at the end you will meet with your maker, your Father, your Sovereign God.
Break open your words, let the light shine out, let ordinary people see the meaning.
Psalm 119:130

What are your thoughts?

4 comments:

I Began in Innocence said...

my thoughts are racing through the hundreds, possibly thousands of times I grimaced when I heard the reward theory expressed in hopes that good behavior would afford! good words, hard to swallow, unless thoroughly "chewed"!

Joshua Swodeck said...

I would comment, but I only got through the first tenth.

seriously though, I remember the tithe...I remember the empty promises. I remember dreaming of how I could spend my 90%...car, plasma, vacation, new home, special dinner, etc. and how righteous I felt that I had paid my dues. I remember thinking that if I gave a little more, then God would do what I asked (I was planting a seed in the "make God happy and expect a return" garden). I also remember what freedom came when I stopped letting this concept tie me down and began living life awake...looking for opportunities to be generous, not out of duty, but with a compassionate spirit.

My motto: "I don't tithe my life!" It's all or nothing.

Krissy said...

I danced at a wedding and didn't get pregnant either. I did however get mono! Lol. Love your blog Julia. You crack me up & at the same time really make think what it is that j really believe. Thanks for being who you are, nothing more and nothing less.

tither of innovation said...

thank you Krissy;) and thanks for commentary Family. And thanks to the 54 +/- peeps who stopped by to read what i had to say about meaninglessness:)