Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Church Rehab with Dr. Drew

i've been lazy about the church hunt as of late, but i've had anxiety and have needed to process some deeper issues before i reconnect. enter Dr. Drew, my favourite rehab specialist. imagine if there were a VH-1 Church Rehab. imagine if there were a shepherding type of counselor, like Drew, that helped you process the strings, the ties, the motives, the abuse, the anger, the hurt, the frustration, the isolation, the pressure to perform, the insecurity, the loneliness, the double-talk, the lies, the disappointments, the goofy doctrine, the beatings, the bruises, the deep need within, the effects of being in the system for 30+ years... imagine.

have you watched the rehab shows with Dr. Drew? i love how he makes his little pout when the patients tell their stories. it's like he sees the little child, neglected and misused, and is able to clump all the "violations" into one big sum of stuff that is the past... the valid horrific past, but the past. he gets them to focus on getting healthy so that they can live a normal life.

last sunday my family went out to breakfast, the farmer's market, and even the dog park. as we were leaving the dog park, my mom turned to me and said "i loved today. i love doing normal stuff. we missed out on a lot, you know. i had an alcoholic father and you had church-aholic parents." wow.

the church may be a very different dynamic to me than it is to you. to me, it is the source of much pain, frustration, and conflict. the church is "work". to you, it may be a haven, a place of hope, a glimpse of family. my story is not entirely unique. many people have a very similar view of church. but here's the deal... i refuse to give up on the church. we, as a family, have refused to give up on the church.

but i need a pep talk. i need a pout and hug from Dr. Drew from time to time. i need a shepherd to use his rod to protect me. i need a shepherd to love me whether or not i am serving him and his vision. heck, i'll be frank, i just need a shepherd. not a teacher, not an evangelist, not an anointed CEO, not a vision caster, not a perfect person, just a good old fashioned, kind, tender, and compassionate shepherd.
you know, someone like Dr. Drew;)
"I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd puts the sheep before himself, sacrifices himself if necessary."
John 10:11

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

good stuff, I think that this is how Jeremiah feels about church.

Anonymous said...

For years I didn't have a true pastor. I told myself I didn't need one since I used to be one. Then I acknowledged that I really needed a true pastor simply because I'm human.

Sad to say, I was in my late 30's before I felt like I had a true shepherd that cared, not just for what I could produce for him

True, you can't give up on the church, because we're all we've got. :-) If you haven't already, I'm sure you'll see the true church within the organization called church.