do you ever wonder who's watching you?

i have this nifty little blog and i get to write whatever the heck i want and it feels pretty sweet. well, not whatever the heck i want... i do use some restraint. a lot of restraint actually. perhaps i should just delete the line that says "i can write whatever the heck i want". hmmm... interesting thought. can i write "hell" as opposed to "heck"? guess i could get away with that and seem a little edgy. what about shit? could i write "shit" without people thinking i had lost my salvation? could i write a phrase like "lost my salvation" without incurring a debate with the baptists on once saved always saved? frankly, i don't give a flip. no wait, that's not true. because if i didn't give a "flip" then i would have typed the word that was really in my head instead of editing it, as if my blog had a big following in the 13 and under age group. anyway, the point is... i care.

i have this nifty little widget on my nifty little blog that lets me know how often my blog is visited and by whom (city, server, ip address). don't get scared, i'm not going to trace you. i don't have much interest in it. i have it because blogger doesn't do a count and though blogging isn't all about the numbers, it's good to keep a count on your traffic. sounds like the excuse churches use on why the numbers matter... lol.

lately, i have noticed repeat visitors. and when i say repeat, i mean everyday. it makes me wonder who is reading up on me and my thoughts. who even cares that much about what i might have to say. is it my bosses, making sure their nanny isn't using their wireless for religious fanaticism (that's a joke... just in case it is you guys)? is it the chic my boyfriend dated before me trying to find out what it is he sees in me (nothing short of amazingness i'm sure)? is it peeps from my last church missing me so deeply that this is the only way to hold on to what once was (hahaha... it's a joke folks)? is it my mom trying to encourage me with lots of hits..."keep writing Julia, see... you're reaching people!" (Thanks mom)? is it the Holy Spirit? does he have a MAC? my brother Josh thinks he would. is it a stalker... someone who used to wait by the green room door just hoping to run into me & have a few words exchanged (joking again!)? who the hell is it?!?

it doesn't really matter now does it. because as long as i am being read then i am content. and as long as i am making you think then i am useful. and as long as i can appease the urge to type then i am satisfied.

so here's to you... anonymous reader. may you feel every bit as content, useful, and satisfied as i. ooh an "i" at the end of a sentence. my dad would be so proud... if he ever read my blog;-)